Canada and Coffins

And surprisingly its been a week today.

sorry yesterday,
it was today when i started writing this yesterday.


So i heard the news Monday night; grampa passed away.
And at first nothing.
No surprise, no real sadness.
Maybe its because it hadn't registered maybe its because then's tomorrow was my last real day of school instead of finals.
but still nothing.
i went through the day touching each option only to sprint back to the next.
Id finally decided i wasn't going.
until my principle walking in handing me a sheet of paper entailing the times i could take all 6 finals the next day,instead of 3.
"i guess i should have told my dad i was leaning toward not going"
i got home and my first reaction was panic.
i literally had a mental breakdown.
i don't think i finished my initial sentence for 3 hours.
I dragged around the house mumbling "i cant" with tears in my eyes only to fall to the ground when i couldn't find my passport , managing a weak "where did i put it?"
i Finaly voiced the fact i couldn't be ready for all of my finals i needed my extra day and i wasn't going.
So i didn't.
It wasn't until By Chance i looked at some pictures of grampa and the decision made itself.
I'm going.


so i went.
the plane ride up.
was a ...loud one.
4 hollanders (sp?)(dc)
who were verry,verry, engaged in what they were talking about.
And a son who mimicked everything his dad said...but not interrupting his occasional glances through the small space between his chair and the next to stare at me.
finally, we got off the plane and ate some a&w and we were off.

we arrived at my cousin David's house.
Which I'm pretty sure is the first time I've met him.yeah ? pretty sure.
because neither or us recognized each other...although that's...not uncommon.
I got through the awkward hugging unconfirmed strangers but i made allot of new friends. so next time it will be confirmed family.

BY the WAY
this is super long eh ?

so anyway

after that we went to the funeral home.
and had a viewing which i already knew...i don't like dead body's.
to me, that's just a body.
I'm so afraid of them.
i have never met this body in my life.
this pale , cold, waxy body.
my grampa didn't look like that.
and he didn't smile like that either; his teeth should be showing.
so i sat and watched the same 25 pictures of my grandpa in the other room for a long , long time.

the next day was the funeral.
the day it hit me.
the day i remembered the most about my grampa
i cried allot.
especialy whe the song was "god be with you till we meet again"
and, the day i realized
I'm going to die.
someday
i will have a funeral just like this.

no matter what.
you can put it in the back of your brain in a dusty corner .
that place you can just not think about.

but...maybe it's not as long as you think.
who knows.
it really gives a new meaning to all of those dumb little myspace pictures that say " live like its your last day blahh blahh this person really doesn't...their just average like you."
you know those.
with the glittery writing.


but anyway
i decided i want to write up a program just a brief outline that has like songs and who i want to speak, and the pictures i want,and what music i want at the dance party. and their will be no viewing.

so theirs that.
the rest of the trip was fun.

the morning of the funeral i really wanted to go for a run because i knew id be eating all of this Canadian food right?
so my dad said he'd come, in fact hes the one that held me to it the next morning.
and so did Sarah,my sister.
and i said lets go through this way,pointing right and he said," no, straight".
so we did.
ends up this lead to a sporadic pasture of foot hills with walking paths ,deer,scenic clifs, ad a Scottish man walking his huge dog.

also i got to stay at my Uncle Bruce and Aunt Luis's house.
i think i spelled that wrong.
sorry.
they have a heated floor in their bathroom !!!

wow !
they were so nice, i was really stressed about the kids making noise and going to jail at customs the next day but Aunt Luise ( again, sorry){im trying as manny spelling variations as i can, to make my chances better} brought up toys and their was this awesome machine that VIBRATED your fat.
that thing.
funniest moment WAIT !
no funniest moment had to be when my new favorite second cousin Harrison
went up to my dad and said
"what does your stomach feel like?"
and he said
"a big fat belly."
so Harrison took his hands and tried thrusting my dads stomach like, up to his chin.
and then he was like,
"its a big fat belly?"
and my dad said something abut it being bouncy.
So Harrison steps back and ran full force at my dads stomach only to be bounced back by it.
i laughed so hard.
then his brother or friend or something i dunno theirs more family their then their is Walmarts in a square mile, and hes all " cool , i want to try"
so he did it too.
wow.
tooo funny.
me and Harrison are now friends on face book.

kids.

But i totally decided me and Mitchell Davis are going their{Canada} someday.